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Pat's Blog

Wednesday, December 31, 2003 at 10:42 AM

Hungry Like The Wolf Snake

MarkT found a certain article on the BBC Website regarding a rather large python:

In Pictures: Giant Python

It's shocking... but it did make me laff. In particular, picture 5, which states "The interest it takes in the humans now flocking to gaze upon its coils is possibly just curiosity". I'm not so sure. In fact, if you pass that picture through the Bi-Parceltongue-Alias filter in Paint Shop Pro, it shows you what's really happening...

In Pictures: Giant, Hungry Python

In true cartoon style ;-)

Sunday, December 28, 2003 at 10:36 PM

The Office

Wow. Tears in eyes and everything. Fantastic. That is all ;-)

Reposted due to me being a fool and deleting this post accidentally. Don't ask

at 8:51 PM

Late nights... with Pat. Maybe

There's a possibility that in about a month's time, the schedule might alter a bit a Dream 107 and I might be moved from Early Brekkie (4:30-6am) to Late Evening (10pm-12am), Mon-Fri.

This is sweetness as far as I'm concerned, as imho it's a better time and, well, it's an extra half hour at least.

Thing is, I want to make sure this show has some good features in it.

So I'm looking for ideas. If you have any, bearing in mind the time, plus that it's in Mid-Essex and aimed at 35ish year olds, please email me to let me know. Thank you!

So far, I've got some great ideas thanks to my brothers, plus Mr Smith and Mr Boyatt. Thanks dudez!

at 12:29 AM


What fun! Quality few days, back at home with the whole family playing games, watching telly and drinking beer. Like I said: what fun :-)

I got lots of cool bits n pieces - the sweetest of which probably being Reservoir Dogs (which I've wanted for ages)... and the most bizzare of which being an automatic shoe polisher. Yes, I know.

Anyway, I hope you had a great one - I'd better go now as I'm at my brother's in Cantebury, we're watching a DVD (Buffalo Soldiers - MENTAL, I don't know how the hell this violence and drug fest is going going to end) and he's just come back down from having a long chat on the phone with His Lady.

He's just called me a f**king t**s w*nk for sitting on the computer. Sounds harsh, but just think... if only he knew I was using it to write on a blog :-)

Sunday, December 21, 2003 at 10:42 PM

Tired, Ill and Cranky

I hate this time of year. Aside from the festive... er... festivities (although you might argue they make it worse), it really does suck. It's cold, it's dark, it's mostly rainy and I always fupping well get a cold during it.

Just like I have now. What's worse is that after starting in my new department two weeks ago, I've been having to learn everything from scratch, whilst trying to manage the 10s of things I need to do all the time. It's not that I'm complaining, as the days go pretty darn quickly and I always feel like I've Got Things Done (TM) at the end of the day, just that I get totally exhausted.

That, coupled with the 2 Christmas parties I've been to this week, plus a whole load of shows and Christmas pre-prep on Dream, has meant that my body's starting to complain a tad. Which usually manifests itself as wanting to go to sleep all the time, having a headache and a headcold and feeling really cheesed off for no particular reason. *

Right now I really could do with some sleep, my head's hurting a bit, I feel a bit fuzzy and I'm a bit down for seemingly no reason.

"So why are you sitting up on your computer at ten to eleven on a Sunday night, moaning away into a blog when you could be catching up on this sleep you appear to desperately need?", you might ask.

Actually, I'm not sure. Good night! :-)

* Having Gary Jules at Number One might not assist this :-) Although YAY for a top tune like that getting to Chrimbo Number one... I'm so glad The Idles didn't get it... shame the Darkness were only No. 2 though - I think for a Christmas tune you can't really ask for more!

Friday, December 19, 2003 at 12:34 AM

Something to do with some kind of ruler of a round gold item

Yep, I went to see LotR the Return of the King avec Levino Whellerino Bambino and my mate Pete.

Twas fupping ace.

That's all I'm saying right now. Just go see it.



Sunday, December 14, 2003 at 5:29 PM

WGA Reunion

What a great laff! Twas ace to see (most of) the RaW gang again! Plenty of Red was consumed, plenty of drunk dancing was done and plenty of "Hullooo Daayvid"'s * were shouted.

Along with that, a whole load of photos were taken. They can be found here.

Quality time, except for finding out that, because Amy had shared a room with Paul and hence didn't have her own room key she'd have to pay "what the conference guests pay" for Rootes Breakfast: Ten pounds f*&^ing Fifty!!! She wasn't pleased, I can tell you... also some poor lady on Rootes Reception got a bit of a mouthfull from me regarding it

Something about being kept up til 3:30am listening to drunk people shout + knock on random peoples' doors in Rootes makes me a touch techy the next day...

Quality time though. Great to see you all!

* = If you don't know the relevance of that, listen to Christian O'Connell on XFM (Mon-Fri 6:30-10... or 9. I dunno, I'm usually in work by then!). But... er... only if you don't live in mid Essex. Obviously :-)

Wednesday, December 10, 2003 at 11:21 PM

Sometimes it's hard... to be... a blogger

Especially when you're fecking busy and don't get a chance to blog anything that you've been doing!

Anyway, I've finally managed to get a couple of minutes (albeit at 23 minutes past 11 on a night where I'm fecking knackered and should've been in bed 2 hours ago), so I'm going to give a v. v. v. brief summary:
  • Dream 107.7FM - Still doing Saturday afternoons 2-6pm and also Early Breakfast, Mon-Fri, 4:30-6:00am. It's ace fun, and you can listen online if you don't live near Chelmsford.

  • Work - I've rotated from my old department and into Technical Services, which is a refreshing change but it brings with it all the feelings of "sh*t, what the hell am I supposed to do?". These feelings are happening quite a lot, as there's a shed load to learn, but it's been pretty rewarding so far (quite a few smaller tasks that I've been able to complete, along with those longer tasks that take somewhat longer)... and the days are going very quickly. That said, it gets to 5pm and I think "Wow, is it that time already? Well, it won't matter if I do one more thing then..." and end up staying til 6:20pm. D'oh!

  • House - Good fun as always. My good friend Stu's moving out soon, which is a sh*tter but my mate from school Pete "Artist Formerly Known as Squeaky" (don't ask) Bowles should very well be moving in during early-to-mid January. Rock!

  • TV - Little Britain ("eh eh eeeeehhh") and Monkey Dust. Watch them, for they are goodness. If a little wrong!

  • Darkness - Went to see them on Saturday night at the Brixton Academy with Pauly, Dave and The Mark - WOW. Fecking awesome - they played all the songs I've grown to love from their album Permission To Land (both Dave and my voices were broken all day on sunday, although for some unknown reason it was only the falsetto part. Maybe it's because we're such tough men. Yes. Sh*tting hell, it's obviously getting a touch late, dillusion is setting in ;-) ).
    They also really played to the crowd with some top "banter", lots of (self-admitted) Queen-esque hand clapping and an actuall kid's choir, with snow, loads of glitter and intense cheesiness on their last song of the night (yes, you might've guessed it: Christmas Time (Don't the Bell(s) End)... our favourite cheesy line of the night: "It's going to be a GREAT Christmas!!".

  • Birthday Meal - Had a nice joint birthday meal with Ash, and some of me workmates + Levino, Pete, Adam and Tal - the latter two of which nearly didn't make it through misunderstanding the meal location in Brentwood as Brentford. Oops. :-) What was it, Adam: "Yeah, we're quite close now, at Hammersmith... just going onto the M4". :-)

  • Comedy Awards - Just saw them on ITV... Ricky Gervais' "Yeah, I'm not nominated this year, but it's not because I'm out of fashion, it's cos I've not done anything this year" speach was the highlight for me. "Oh yeah, remember, the Office, that Episode with the dance, y'know, the Comic Relief one, it's on BBC 2 in 20 minutes. Great, great episode..."

  • Forgetting things to blog about - Clearly I have done. Oh yeah, like the 6ft tall cardboard woman wearing only red knickers standing in my lounge. If I were in Dream, right now I'd be saying "and I'll tell you more about how on Earth that got there, in a few minutes time".

    Oh, sorry, I was waiting for the ad break to finish. Anyway, yes:
  • Sleep - I fecking need it. Now.
Blog more later. Now me sleep.

Wednesday, December 03, 2003 at 11:45 AM

Today's Random Song in my Head

Steven Gately - Bright Eyes

Someone help me, please, I'm sinking myself into a depressed state remembering those poor rabbits... someone help them... please... someone... anyone.....

Er... yes. Anyway, hurrah for yet another random-song-in-my-head.

Oh, and finally: I'm back on Early Breakfast on Dream 107. You can listen in at (if the web stream's working) or just tune in to 107.7FM if you happen to be near to Chelmsford, Essex!

Will you listen?


Excellent, thanks. Did I mention the show's at 4:30am? ;-)

Monday, December 01, 2003 at 11:54 AM

Don't Let The Bells End!

Yay! Finally a tune in my head that isn't total and utter shite!!!

The Darkness's latest offering, which you must all go out and buy in two weeks time, is proper Chrimbo Cheese. All the ingredients - catchy chorus, heartfelt lyrics... and a kids choir. Ace.

Now, bear in mind I'm not a betting man, but if I were to make a guess at who out of the following list would get Chrimbo Number One, I'd have to put 100 down for The Darkness.

Even if you don't like the song, you'll see why:

14th December Releases
  • Atomic Kitten featuring Kool & The Gang - Ladies' Night
    Oh how Christmassy and original
  • Avid Merrion - Proper Crim-bo!
    Novelty Record - might be funny, but it's not no. 1 material
  • Basil Brush - Boom Boom!
    WHAT?!? HOW?!?! WHERE!?!? WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!
  • Billy Mack - Christmas Is All Around
    I don't know who this is, but it's probably shite
  • Blue featuring Stevie Wonder & Angie Stone - Signed, Sealed, Delivered I'm Yours
    You have got to be f***ing kidding me. ANOTHER boy band duet cover thing? AAAAGH
  • Different Darkness - Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Darkness
  • Fast Food Rockers - I Love Christmas
    Really? That's nice. I love thinking about torturing you.
  • Justin Timberlake - I'm Lovin' It
    Yes that's right kids - over christmas, put on loads of weight by eating shit
  • Mew - She Came Home For Christmas/That Time On The Ledge
    Unknown, but probably rubbish
  • Partyboys - Build Me Up Buttercup
    Oh, f**k right off NOW
  • The Idols - Happy Xmas (War Is Over)
    Unneeded? Probably
  • Young Punx - Got Your Number
    "Ah HA HA HA, isn't this funny 118?" "YES 118, It's SO TOPICAL now and not at all 3 month too late!" "This is actually appauling isn't it 118?" "Yes 118!" "Got Your Number!" *BANG*

But I've forgotten one thing:

14th December Releases
Michael Andrews featuring Gary Jules - Mad World

Make that a 5 bet. :-)

(Thanks to for the release date info!)

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